Leadership Thoughts

It's striking that the pastoral epistles mention that one of the qualities to look for in a (church) leader is good management of one's own family. It seems that there is a strong connection between how a leader 'performs' at home and how he 'performs' in church. It makes, when you think about it, a great deal of sense. Who I am at home is really who I am. It's not easy to wear a mask in my own house and with those who are closest to me. They see right through it. Pretense and 'ministerial airs' are not really sustainable with those closest to me and are quickly broken down. So, the way I relate and love my family says loads about my real character and maturity. I can suppress and paper over frustrations in 'public church settings', and so appear more godly than I am. I don't do that in our 'home church setting' as easily! This isn't just an issue of hypocrisy vs. authenticity though. The patterns at home are bound to surface in my ministry. If I'm controlling, brash or cowardly at home you can bet I'll be like that at church. If I can't love my wife/kids then there's also many others who I won't be loving. Leaders' family life and relational patterns echo all the way through their ministry. There's a saying that "no man is a hero to his valet"... and it just strikes me that if my family doesn't see any spiritual heroism in me (however mixed with sin) then I jolly well can't lead others towards it. Perhaps someone should be talking to leaders' families about what they make of us who lead.....